Don't Let Them Sway You

To my fellow Follower of Jesus Christ,

As I was cleaning the kitchen this morning, I felt a very strong tug on my heart to write this blogpost. I didn't want to, as it may offend or be hard for some to hear. However, it is never the easy things in life that help us grow and raise above. I want to be very clear, this is not a rant session.  I want to be challenged and sharpened and if you do too, continue to read. It is not my heart to condemn anyone, but instead call us to a higher standard and speak truth into our minds through the power of Jesus Christ. We need to see above all that is around us. 

Yes, I know all about Target and their bathroom/changing room policy change. Yes, I know about countless young, young girls being sold for sex RIGHT IN AMERICA! Yes, I know about the drama of the election coming up. The list can go on and on. As Christians we are definitely not called to bury our heads in the sand on these issues, yet we also aren't called to let our emotions get the best of us and then lash out, posting our opinion all over the internet while we still do nothing except debate over social media. I keep asking myself truly, what would Jesus do in these situations if He were still on this earth? I got frustrated trying to think it through and come to an answer. Then the Lord spoke to my heart. Here is what He said...

Don't let this world and the brokenness of it pull you down and get you focused on the sadness, frustration, ridiculousness and so on. Your emotions can lead you to a place you do not want to be and can take your eyes off what truly matters. You then forget that I love EVERYONE, even those making the decisions you don't like. You are called to love them. Speak up for justice sure, but love them. It is a tricky balance and you will not understand how to do this apart from Me. You need to be spending more time with Me to be able to accomplish this. When you state your opinion over and over, most of the time your emotions rise with it. Don't be swayed by these emotions. Surrender your thoughts and emotions to Me first, then ask Me how to walk forward. This will not always be easy because it requires you rely more on Me and less on yourself. People will make their own decisions regardless of how you feel, but your reaction in your emotions will also speak louder to them as they make further decisions. Stop posting and start praying. Let me give you insight which you haven't had and see the hope in these situations. (2 Timothy 2:7... I will give you understanding in everything.) You can only get wrapped up in Me or the world, never both. With me there will understanding, hope, love, freedom, and wisdom; with the world there will be frustration, anger, bitterness, hopelessness and foolishness. You cannot stop these things from happening (2 Timothy 3), but you can change your own outlook and bring hope and change. You need to "avoid worldly and empty chatter, as it will lead to further ungodliness (anger, bitterness, hatred)" (2 Timothy 2:16). This then will lead you to harden your heart to a world who is in desperate need of My love and truth. Don't let Satan sway you by grabbing ahold of your emotions and taking you for a spin. Now that you are aware, come to Me and I will help you. You can do this. You can change the world, on your knees.  -God

There it is, a call to a higher standard. Guard your mind and heart today. Focus on the truth of who God still is. Ask Him what it is He wants you to do, and do it. If He is calling you to speak up, speak up. If He is calling you to close your mouth and pray, close your mouth and pray. If He is calling you to bring justice, bring justice. The catch is though, 'if He' in these statements. We need to be in tune with Him like never before so that we do not turn people away from His love, but draw them to Himself because He loves ALL PEOPLE, as should we. Believe me, I am just as challenged by His words as you are. No fingers pointed at anyone, just speaking the truth of Jesus in love and praying for His power to manifest stronger in me that I may do all that He is calling me to do and may you do the same whether regarding human trafficking, the election, suicide, abortion, or the Target drama. 

So, in short...

Seek Him (pray)

Surrender (give your emotions to Him, all of them)

Speak up or Stay Silent (do what He is telling you to do)

Serve Him (love those around you, all around you)

The Journey to Decision Making

Decisions, something we all have to make. They can be extremely tough and the pressure to make the right decision can eat us alive. If you are like me, you get consumed by the 'what ifs' and try to your hardest to think clearly yet your thoughts seem to be choked out by your emotions. It can be overwhelming if you want so badly to make the right decision, but aren't sure which that is. Then for those of us who love Jesus and desire to follow Him, we are faced with the question of what decision does He want me to make?

The tension begins.

I want to give you a glimpse right now into my life lately. Not to prove to you that I have this all figured out. No, I seriously do not have anything "figured out". I have had to make some hard decisions in the past few weeks, hard decisions and I found myself wrestling with myself and ultimately wrestling with God. However, God has been speaking to me about this area in my life, decision making, and I want to share with you the hope and truth He has so sweetly spoken to me. If this is applying to you too, I pray that it will help all of you in the tough position of making the "right" decision. Who doesn't want to make the right decision, right? and if you haven't experience this yet in your walk with God, I promise you one day you will, so I pray that this will speak you now and prepare your heart for when you are in this position.

Sometimes, and I know I do it all the time, we can over complicate things. When it comes to decision making and the journey it takes us on, sometimes we get distracted by the journey itself. Really we need to focus on why we are on the journey in the first place. God is desiring to speak to us and show us the way, but our own desire to control and understand come barreling in with a wave of emotions.

When you boil it all down, here is what it comes to...

1 Thessalonians 4:1
"Finally, dear brothers and sisters, we urge you in the name of the Lord Jesus to live in a way that pleases God, as we have taught you. You live this way already, and we encourage you to do so even more."

"Live in a way that pleases God". Seems pretty simple. It is.
If you love Jesus and want to follow Him I guarantee you that you also desire to live in a way that pleases God. Maybe your mind forgets that sometimes, but that doesn't mean its not true. Are you always thinking about how to breathe? No, but it is happening. "You live this way already, and we encourage you to do so even more." Paul is saying this too as he addresses the people in Thessalonica. They desired to please God and were living in that way, but Paul was telling them, pleading with them, to do more that pleases God. He was telling them, I believe, to focus more on how to please God more than anything. I am sure that the Christian people of Thessalonica had to make decisions, sometimes hard decisions, and it wasn't easy. The same is true now a days, which then usually upsets us and send us into a wrestling match with God. Why do we wrestle?

Wrestling with God happens when you aren't willing to please Him above yourself. Maybe you don't even want to please yourself, but you want to please others above pleasing God. If you are close to Jesus and have a relationship with Him you will feel this tension because your spirit wants one thing and your own mind wants another thing. This is not a bad thing, it is reality. It is what you do in your wrestling that can lead you down a bad or good path. God wants to use your wrestling to lead you to Himself, so that He can speak to you and bring you to where you need to be.  The question is, what do you do about it? This is what the Lord so clearly spoke to my weary heart.

ASK: HOW CAN I PLEASE YOU, GOD?
Then>>Listen.
This requires laying aside your desires and accepting what He says. We don't ask because we don't want to listen. We don't want to lose our "control" (although this a false sense of control because the Lord is always in control above us). We forget God is a good Father and only has our best in mind. (It just might not look the same in the process).

So, go ahead. Ask God how you can please Him and listen to what He has to say. Trust in Him. Trust in His love for you. Trust in His promises to take care of you, finish what He started and give you a hope and future. Let Him speak the truth to you in His sweet loving way. Then may you obey what He says, make the decision and walk into all that He has for you with no fear! It's not meant to be complicated at all, but requires trust in your Creator God and an open heart and ears.

I will leave you with this promise from your good, good Heavenly Father...
Isaiah 50:7 "Because the Sovereign Lord helps me, I will not be disgraced. THEREFORE, I have set my face like a stone, determined to do His will. And I know that I will not be put to shame."

Sullivan's in Swazi [part 1]

{Where it all began}

The beginning of this year, January 2015, Austin and I were at church on what seemed to be a pretty normal Sunday morning, or so we thought. At the end of a service our pastor gave a call, a challenge, a cry to send out missionaries to reach the lost and hurting, bringing the hope of Jesus all around the world. After he closed his message we had a chance to respond to the call by standing, ready to take the next step in that calling, whatever that may look like. My heart was racing, I knew the Lord was telling me to stand, yet I had no idea what the details looked like or what I was even really signing up for! But as I sat and listened to the pastor pray I knew standing was my only option. I then saw what seemed to be a picture of Haiti playing through my head, lots of laughing, joyful children hanging all over me as it seemed I was taking a video of all of us. Then I heard the Lord spoke to me, reassuring me that He will take care of all of the details, including what my husband would think if I stood and he didn’t. So, with that, I began to stand, ready to answer the call, yet so unsure of what that meant or looked like. I looked to my right and there was my husband, simultaneously standing too. Tears instantly began streaming down my cheeks. The pastor was praying over us and although I could not tell you what he prayed that morning, I know that God was whispering to the deepest parts of my soul, placing a passion and desire in me only He could, but He was also tying them to Austin’s passions and desires as well. As soon as he finished praying and dismissed the congregation, Austin and I looked at each other and he said, “We need to go get prayer for this.” I agreed. We walked to the front of the church were the prayer team was ready to listen, embrace us and pray for us. There were so many questions yet to be answered, yet peace overflowing in both of us as they prayed. Later, I found out that while the pastor was praying, the Lord was laying the country of Swaziland on Austin’s heart. As soon as Austin said that, the picture I had earlier came back to my mind (as it seemed I had already forgotten it) and I realized that the children it were not Haitian, they all had barely any hair and their skin was much darker…they were African. Our next step then was to begin praying/preparing our hearts to go on the December Swaziland mission trip if that was where God led us.

Fast-forward…here we are today! The time has come for us to begin to walk, after months and months of prayer, and we are excited!

Yes, you heard me correctly! This December 3-12, 2015 Austin and I will be venturing to Swaziland with our church, River Valley. Our team is filled to the brim with 36 people going! (WOO-HOO!)

Where is Swaziland you ask?

Let me show you…

Now, let me tell you more about this amazing country…

Swaziland, a small, landlocked monarchy in southern Africa, is known for its wilderness reserves and festivals showcasing traditional Swazi culture. Marking its northeastern border with Mozambique and stretching down to South Africa, the Lebombo Mountains serve as a dramatic backdrop for Mlawula Nature Reserve’s many hiking trails. Nearby Hlane Royal National Park is home to diverse wildlife including lions, hippos and elephants. [Wiki]

At no more than 200 kilometres (120 mi) north to south and 130 kilometres (81 mi) east to west, Swaziland is one of the smallest countries in Africa. Despite its size, however, its climate and topography is diverse, ranging from a cool and mountainous highveld to a hot and dry lowveld. The population is primarily ethnic Swaziswhose language is siSwati. The population of Swaziland is 1.25 million (2013) and the life expectancy is 48.85 years (2012). [Wiki]

During our time there, our team will be focusing the majority of the time on staffing Swaziland’s largest Christmas party for 1,000s of orphans, helping the missionaries and church staff, as well as caring and aiding the children at the CarePoint (school and caring facility for poverty-stricken children) located at the River Valley Church campus in Swaziland. I know though that the Lord has much more in store for Austin and I with this trip, although I couldn’t type it out to you right now. It is truly going to be an amazing trip and the beginning of a spectacular journey with God as a family. I cannot wait to share it all with you.

There is so much to this trip, physically, mentally and spiritually. We would greatly appreciate your prayers for us now as we prepare to go, as well as when we are there. Would you please consider praying for us regularly? If you’d like a prayer card, please text or email me and I will send you one.

With all this being said, of course there we are also in middle of fundraising for the trip. Our first payment of $2,200 (both) is almost reached! Praise God! Now on October 5 our next payment of $2,200 ($1,100 each) is due. We know that the Lord will provide and are adjusting our budget to make the necessary sacrifices as well. If you would like to give and support us financially as we answer this call of God, you can send tax-deductible gifts to River Valley Church (address below). Checks need to written out to “River Valley Church” and you write 2015 Dec. Swaziland in the memo line as well write our names on the envelope or another enclosed piece of paper (please don’t put our names on the check, otherwise it is not tax-deductible).

River Valley Church

14898 Energy Way

Apple Valley, MN 55124

Online contributions can also be made by visiting https://my.rivervalley.org/default.aspx?page=6721&mission=130 and selecting Austin or Katelyn Sullivan.

{ALSO!! Keep your eyes and ears open for me introducing other fun and potentially tasty ways to support us financially too!}

We are so grateful for those who have already supported us and are continuing too! We could not do this without God using you, so thank you from the deepest part of our hearts to you. May the Lord bless you as you partner with those He is calling to directly go.

I will leave you with these verses from Isaiah and my closing thoughts as out part one of the Sullivan’s in Swazi comes to the end…

“And if you give yourself to the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then your light will rise in darkness, and your gloom will become like midday. And the Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire in scorched places, and give strength to your bones; and you will be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water whose waters do not fail.” Isaiah 58:10-11

We will see God do great things in Swaziland when were are there, things as promised from these verses to us as we give ourselves to the hungry and afflicted…this is my prayer and it reassures my soul when the journey begins to look rough and challenging. It brings me hope. This is also true for each of us in our every day, right now. It is all about what we choose to every day- either God’s agenda or our own. These promises from the Lord are not just for those who are traveling to a foreign country, this is for you and me today if we are willing to give ourselves to those hurting, broken, hungry, in rough spots and situations, meeting their needs and desires. This means we have to look past our own self and see as Jesus would if He were here in the flesh. We have to let Him through us. Then we receive this promise the Lord spoke. A promise of hope, desires met in times when they seem most likely to not be met, strength when we feel so weak we cannot carry on, and refreshment in profound ways that satisfy your innermost soul. This is God’s challenge to me and to you today. Will you expect it and conquer it, reaping it’s amazing, generous reward from our Lord and Savior?

Be Divergent

Divergent :  [ diˈvərjənt, dī- ] : Adjective

Tending to be different or develop in different directions

This has been burning inside of me the past few weeks [after watching Insurgent, the sequel to movie Divergent]. If you haven’t seen the movies (or read the books if that fits your fancy) you may want to watch them before reading this blog, as I may spoil a few things while trying to draw connections to our lives today [sorry]. If you don’t care or have seen the movies, it is my prayer that this is an encouragement to you as you live as a alien on this Earth, awaiting  your true citizenship in Heaven. (And no, not everything from the movies can be directly correlated to our walk with the Lord, but some truly can).

Summary of two movies [skip if you have seen the movies, read the books or just want to get to the meat of this post]

Here is the jist of the first movie Divergent:

In a world divided by factions based on virtues, Beatrice Prior (Tris) learns she's Divergent and won't fit in. When she discovers a plot to destroy Divergents, Tris and the mysterious Four must find out what makes Divergents dangerous before it's too late. (IMBd)

Tris is a normal girl who wishes to fit in and follow the “laws” put in place by the society around her, but after being tested to see which faction she should fit in, she doesn’t fail the tests, she passes them all. (This test is done to also find divergents so they can be eliminated because society states they are a threat to the order of the society). She is divergent. Throughout the movie as Tris realizes the weight of her “calling” or who she truly is, the fact that she is divergent, she faces many trials and tests. She wants to try to avoid it, try to pretend its not there, but it is inevitable that no matter what she does, she is different. She stands out and she is being hunted down for it, along with all others who are different as well. So, she has to learn how to stay alive and save thousands who are in danger.

Here is the jist of the second movie Insurgent:

Beatrice Prior must confront her inner demons and continue her fight against a powerful alliance which threatens to tear her society apart with the help from others on her side. (IMBd)

Tris and all of the divergents are in hiding because society has not only been trying to quietly eliminate them because they say they are threat to all civilization, but they are being hunted down to be terminated once and for all. However, Jeanine Matthews, the leader of the faction Erudites (the smarty pants group) wants to gain complete control of every faction thus being able to influence any as she pleases. She is motivated to do this because she knows the truth about the factions and doesn’t want to go back to the rest of the world, but rather stay in the factions with Erudite in control so that they would never leave the city (Hence, trying to take out the divergents who will change it all!)  In the beginning of the movie, a box is found,. It is a mysterious artifact that was hidden by Tris’ parents. They don’t know what it inside and Jeanine (evil lady) wants to open it because she believes it is the answer to destroying all divergents. But *GASP* only a Divergent with potential for all five factions can open the box, not another with potential for only a few of the factions. In the end, Tris has to fight through all five factions, completing them all, confronting her inner demons as the description says. In the end, there is a message inside stating explaining that the whole faction system is an experiment and that Divergents are the solution (not the problem) to the problems outside the fence (which is surrounding their “world”).  So, after this, everyone is able to return to the rest of the world.

[Resume here if you skipped the summary above!]
So… what does this have to do with being a child of God? This is what has been burning on my heart and the Lord spoke to me, encouraging my heart along this journey.
The Divergents were being persecuted, blamed, hunted down and attacked. Society was labeling them as the root cause of all their problems, because they broke all the “peace” and disturbed “their world”. They stood out and had a much different purpose and outlook of life from everyone else. They weren’t affected by the same things everyone else was and although they hadn’t seen that there anything outside those walls surrounding them, they felt it and had faith that there had to be more.
What about Christians today? What is our world saying about us? How much do we stand out and are blamed from the problems in this world because we are judgmental when really we are just speaking the truth? In the end, the Divergents were actually the exact opposite of what everyone told them they were…they were the solution! We as Christians, Christ followers, have the solution, know the solution…Jesus Christ. With that, we are Divergent to the society around us. People want to keep us quite, tell us we are problem and need just need to have tolerance. We are attacked for what we believe and even more if we try to speak or live it out.  The enemy has this world deceived and they want to shush us, push us down and eliminate us, nothing to disrupt “peace”. 
Then God spoke this to me: “Be Divergent. Don’t be ashamed of it, but speak out for the truth (Jesus). Do not conform to the patterns of this world. You have the victory of Jesus already, always with you-walk in that and set captives free.”

I wholeheartedly believe that our God did not give me this charge to hurt His creation or to shame them for acting foolishly out of being deceived. No, just as Tris and the other Divergents in the movie had a heart of love to save those around them who were being deceived as they embraced their divergency [yep, I just made up a word]… I know that this is God’s heart and so mine too. Many people in the Bible were divergents (Moses, Daniel, Paul, Peter, Jesus himself…just to name a few). But in Daniel 3:8-18 Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego are great examples of being divergent. They don’t conform to the patterns of the world by bowing down to worship the idol, even though they know it could mean dying a brutal death by being thrown into the fiery furnace. I can just picture it like a movie scene, thousands are bowing and there are these three (who all have high rankings in the kingdom might I add) just standing, looking straight forward at the idol not about to budge, their faces firm with boldness to honor God above all else. Wow! And because of their divergency they were thrown into the fire, but they were saved by God! And from that many were saved (shown who the true God worthy of worship is) and the name of the Lord was glorified.


Push through the fear of being Divergent, look to the Lord and be strengthened. It is worth it to grab a hold of your calling as a child of God, being Divergent in this world.  You are not alone, there are many other Divergents here, standing with you in faith that there is something more “outside the wall”, carrying out our mission to share the hope we have in Jesus and living by His ways not this worlds. Share the solution despite the hardship to, Jesus did and He is our greatest Divergent example of all. 

The Beauty of Disappointment

Disappointment is usually accompanied by a great deal of fear by so many. This fear of disappointment traps us and makes us believe all hope is gone, leaving us joyless and depressed about many things. After that the door is open for doubt to not only come in, but move in and plant it’s ugly butt right in our minds soon to move further down into our hearts. The “what ifs” haunt us as we try to determine what we are supposed to do and have so many opportunities to fail, being disappointed time and time again. And so the cycle continues.

So, let’s play the “What If” game then, but this time let’s look at it from a different perspective and break the cycle!

What if God could really do great things, great things in you?

What if He truly wanted good for you?

God does not break His promises, ever. He has proven Himself time and time again in the Bible and testimonies from today, this day and age. But what if God’s promises are true for them, but not you, you ask? THAT’S NOT TRUE because that then and there for means God has favorites which breaks who He is which then demeans His power and promises in the same people you just admitted you see His faithfulness. It is twisted, I know. That is the enemy’s plan, and I am here to show you the truth. These truths God has been walking me through. It has been painful, I will not lie. However, the truths God has revealed to me are worth more than the pain of the trials. To me, they are worth more than gold.

{“For God does not show favoritism.” Romans 2:11}

Well, now that that is settled, it’s time to move on! The promises are true for YOU and me. For so long this has taken me forever to move from my head, knowing it, to my heart, of actually believing it. Then God threw this verse at me…BAM!

{“For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD gives grace and glory; No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” Psalm 84:11}

This verse has so much truth and promises packed in it…

1. God is your sun- He will give you warmth and the things you need to grow and be productive. It doesn’t say He is a cloud that sucks away your warmth, stopping you from growing and getting the “nutrients” you need to grow.
2. God is your shield- He will keep you from harm (Jeremiah 29:11)
3. He GIVES you grace-The Creator of everything on this planet wants to GIVE US GRACE!? Grace to get through the disappointments as at times it is hard to remain calm and trust Him. He has grace for me in those moments when I lose it, not trusting Him/flip out but then come back to Him…He gives me grace. WOW!
4. He gives glory- GLORY? Seriously! What a good God He is. He wants to give His children honor, not glory and splendor like this world has to offer.
5. No good thing does He withhold-This is such a beautiful promise that we can hold onto because it’s true. He just won’t, He can’t. He is a good Father who gives His children good things, not withholding them from them to watch them squirm. But how many of us know that parent’s know that sometimes when a child wants something they think is “good” it is really not so the parent does not give it to them. This isn’t out of hatred, but is actually out of their great love for this child.
6. From those who walk uprightly- It doesn’t matter what circumstances are thrown at us or how we are feeling…we walk uprightly in the ways of the LORD because not only is our reward going to be great, it is our expression of gratitude to a great God who watches over us, protects us, gives us grace and glory, and does not withhold ANYTHING good from us!

Here is where you can find the beauty in the disappointment. You can find hope in the disappointment. Sure, fear can be strong and jump out at you first, BUT hope is stronger than fear and is the only thing stronger than it. Jesus is stronger, He brings us our hope!

{The only thing greater than the fear of disappointment is hope in Jesus’ loving promises.}

Here comes the question: What is that “good thing” you fear the disappointment of not getting?

Ask the Holy Spirit to come in and speak to your heart about it, right now. God does not want to hurt you. He does not want to inflict pain and sorrow on you, we just spoke truth to that lie and you are free of it! Maybe you think it’s good for you, but your Heavenly Father sees ahead and knows that it’s actually not good for you. Can you find the joy in that? He is protecting you and you can trust in Him. Maybe there are other people that need to be positioned sill or God is still preparing before you can have that “good thing”. Doesn’t it give you hope and joy that God is working on your behalf in them to bring it all together?

Sure, the pain disappointment is real. Believe me, I understand. I could go into how I understand, but I will spare you the flaky hors d’oeuvres and get right to the main course goodness of what I have learned. In times of disappointment we have the opportunity to feel the Spirit of our Living God in greater way, because light can be seen greater in the darkness than a lit up from. Yes, disappointment is awful and aren’t sought out, but we don’t have to fear them! We can even get excited when we see them coming because of the promises of our God. As we trust fully in that when we are forced into moments of disappointment due to circumstances, we experience His great presence followed by unexplainable peace and joy which you never thought would be possible. And it is oh so amazing to taste and see His goodness and love.

That is the beauty of disappointment, which then leads you to be able to carry on with joy that you have hope in a good future regardless of your disappointments you're feeling now! 

Not Undone

Isaiah 42:16
"I will lead the blind by a way they do not know, in paths they do not know I will guide them. I will make darkness into light before them and rugged places into plains. These are the things I will do, and I will not leave them undone."

Sometimes as we go about life we can start to feel like we are blind. We can't see what it is coming next or the darkness is so thick and the path so rough we can scarcely walk on it because our feet feel as though they are being torn bit by bit. This can take a large toll on us as we continue to walk this path...we begin to question God and His plan.

I want to share part of my story with you.

I have been on this path for sometime now and I know the challenges it can bring. I feel so blind at times I stop and just sit down. I don't move. I don't make any decisions. I don't like anyone. I am ungrateful and anxious, finding joy becomes more and more difficult. I am angry at God and I can get stuck in that stop, giving up on trying to get out. (Yep, I have been a Christian for 21 years and I struggle at times with being angry at God…I’m going to be real with you). From the time I was 5 I knew what I wanted to do with my life, be an elementary teacher. I spent 15 years chasing that dream and as I got older I knew God had gifted me with ability to not only teach, but He gave me a love for kids. I volunteered in children’s ministry, babysat a ton and even took teaching classes throughout high school. I was on my path and I could see for miles, nothing would take me off that path for years and years, but God loved me too much to let me keep walking down that path. He had better plan for me that would bring me much more joy than I ever thought possible. However that would require getting on a different path, His path, where I couldn’t see very far and it was much more bumpy and dark because it was untraveled ground for me.

Here I am now, I am not teaching in a school and I am okay with that, regardless of what everyone says (and I know I have disappointed many in this) because I am following where my Lord leads me. He satisfies my soul in ways I never thought possible. The joy I am experiencing is far greater than I ever imagined. I am working part time and volunteering at church with the teenagers (because God has revealed to me a deep passion to help teenagers and encourage them to be all that God has designed them to be). He has given me new passions and purpose. He has replaced my old self with a new creation in Him. He has led me and is still continuing to lead me, blind me, down this path because He is a good, good Father to me and He takes care of me. He didn’t put me on this path to hurt me, but to give me a bigger, brighter future and purpose in this life. Life is still far from perfect and I have lots to still learn, BUT with Him I know the light will shine in the darkness before me as I keep walking. I still don't really know or understand what is coming my way, please understand this...I am just trusting God. I am clinging to His promises for me and His great love for me. He has never failed me and He never will!
 

If you are in this spot with me, hear these words: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. This promise from God in Isaiah is just as much for you as it is for me. I am no different than you. I have issues and mess out day in a day out, but there truly is a God who wants to show you how much He cares about you, turning the rugged places into plains and giving you joy on your journey with Him. It requires DAILY trust in Him and obedience even if everyone is telling you otherwise, but I can GUARANTEE you it is all worth it, Jesus is truly worth it all because never will He leave it undone. Never will He leave you alone and your path undone before you. He is the God who is our provider. He is the God who is perfect and good and never breaks His promises (and this scripture is a promise to you and I)! God is screaming this to you, He wants you see this truth clearly and it is no conscience that you are reading this now. The path may be hard to see, dark and rough, but...

He will show you where to go.
He will guide you.
He will bring light to the darkness.
He will turn the rugged places into plains.
He will not leave it undone.

I am sorry if this world or people in this world have let you down, but He never will, He is not human and He is completely perfect & He loves you, right now in all that you are right now even if you're a mess. Your mess is no different than mine, both our messes separate us from God and it is by Jesus' grace dying on the cross though He had nothing wrong and rising from the dead that has made a way for us to have hope!  

The Secret Ingredient

I don’t know who is reading this, what led you here to have this up on your screen. However, I believe that the Lord lays specific things on my heart or takes me through hard trials to share the hope of Jesus with everyone I can. I believe that Jesus came not only to make a way for us to be with God forever, but for us to experience Heaven here on this earth as we embrace Him and His promises.

So, here I am, not even going to pretend I don’t struggle. I can be a hot mess a lot of times, completely drowning in my stress and worry, so overwhelmed I lose all control. I coast through life at times in this numb state of mind because it is better to ignore than face life head on because the overwhelming pressure of no answers or too many hurting people or the pain of my own trails feel like a plastic bag on my head and when I start to deal with it all the bag seems to get tighter and I lose my breath and willpower to get the bag off. There are a lot of ups and downs, but through the grace of God I am learning day by day how to walk out of the stress, anxiety and fear, leaving it at His feet and walking in joy, peace and love.

So, if this is you or you can identify with any part of it and want to hear the truth the Lord has spoken to me, keep reading. I am not free from the struggle, but I am growing in the grace of the Lord and you have that same opportunity.

James 1:21 “Therefore, putting aside all filthiness and all that remains of wickedness, in humility receive the word implanted, which is able to save your souls.”

Yes, there are some strong words in this verse: filthiness and wickedness. I don’t really like to think of my anxiety and worry as filthiness and wickedness, but once I humble myself and see it for what it really is I realized that anxiety is not from God and it leads to immense stress, worry and even depression. That is the exact opposite of righteousness and with that I would classify that wickedness. Also, in all that anxiety and depression I am not feeling lifted and wonderful, I am feeling awful and ashamed, don’t want to talk about it or draw any attention to it, it’s filthy.

James also says in chapter 4, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” I am being prideful when I ignore my anxiety whether I am ignoring because I don’t want to face it or I believe that I can handle it and fix it. God, the Creator of everything can’t do anything in our lives or with us in other people’s lives if we are all about ourselves, even if it’s disguised as helping other people all for Him. He sees our hearts and if we are feeling drained constantly while giving to other people we need to stop and ask ourselves why are doing what we are doing.

How do we live in this world and not be affected by it?

H U M I L I T Y

This is the “secret” ingredient. Although it is not easy for many of us and our thoughts of what humility is are skewed. As the Lord opens my eyes up more and more to the power of humility and what it truly is I am blown away by the impacts it has not only on those I serve, but myself more. This is something we have to grow in, choose to learn and persevere through the lesson of.

As God brought this to my attention He spoke these words to me. As you read them it is my prayer that your eyes are open and your spirit rejuvenated because God wants you have more in this life, more than any money can buy. He wants to show you how to have true, lasting joy. He allows things to come to surface so that He can remove them from us, restoring us again.

{My child, when I give you grace, you can only really receive it when you see that you need it, when you’re not thinking about yourself or how you can accomplish something, but only when you are completely humble. Be careful to not disguise your pride with giving to other people. You will put others first when they have a need, yet you refuse to admit you need prayer and help? My child, this cannot be.}

Giving to others is not bad.

Helping others is not bad.

Understanding a situation and gathering details is not bad.

Loving people where they are is not bad.

But, why are we doing all these things? What is the point? Only when we humble ourselves and think of ourselves less and God more do we being to, like James said in the scripture, receive the word implanted in us. We begin to receive the truth of how much we are worth and then we can pour out more love on others. We receive the truth of our purpose on this plant, not to make money and have a good living, but to love others and share the hope of Jesus with them.

So, if you’re feeling stuck, down, depressed, lost, or any other negative emotion that is leading you down a bad path, I want to encourage you to stop and sit, literally sit down in the presence of your Father, He is with you right now. What do you need to admit to Him? You admit not for His sake, but for your own heart and mind. How do you need to humble yourself in the presence of the Lord today?

“Doubt of your own wisdom, and reliance on Mine (God’s) will teach you humility. Humility is not the belittling of the self. It is forgetting the self, more forgetting the self because you are remembering God.”

It’s not easy but it is possible because God gives grace to the humble.

It might be a fight some days to remain focused on God more than yourself, but it is worth it because instead of feeling overwhelmed you will feel the peace of God.